Community Keeps You Going

There's no stronger contradiction that is as highly praised as the concept of a "self-made billionaire". 

I understand the point being made is that the individual was able to become a billionaire without having a boost from parents, nepotistic relationships, or other financial advantages, but still, it insinuates a sort of independence that simply does not exist in successful businesses. Success is not a path of individual effort. It's a path of collaboration.

Motivated individuals create collaborative movement. What can't be done alone often needs to be started by an individual. 

When I consider my own path to success as a model, I can't deny the help that I had along the way. Yes, I had to persist individually in order to get to this point. Nobody kept me accountable to the daily choices I made in order to become an international model. The work I was putting in simply made it easy for other people to work with me. 

I love knowing how much I can accomplish on my own. I feel powerful, I know I'm capable, but I also understand the advantage that community gives me. I understand it's in my best interest to involve myself in my community. Not just for the success of myself as a business, but for my emotional and mental well-being as a person.

There's a reason why I've never tried to be a freelance model. There's a reason why I nurture genuine relationships within my community. There's a reason why I know to ask for help when I need it. 

Coming to Milan has been a dream come true for me, and it's also brought up some unexpected trials this past week. I have been removed from my physical community--my friends, my family, my neighbors, my home, my belongings, my colleagues. Everything was physically left behind in Utah except for what I thought I would need for modeling, and, unexpectedly, all of my bad habits. 

Being at home is a safe place for me. I have quick access to the support I need for any challenges I may face. I really thought I was perfectly prepared mentally, physically, and emotionally to make the trip out here. And I was, until last week.

Suddenly, the stress of the upcoming Fashion Week castings and the physical distance between myself and my usual support systems led me down a week-long spiral of stress eating, anxious thoughts about my future, feeling like I was ruining my opportunity, and considering giving up and going home.

I didn't expect to suddenly feel so hopeless, even after everything I had accomplished and overcome to get to this point. The thing is, I didn't accomplish anything alone up to this point, but I'm the only one who physically made this trip. I suddenly was more alone on this journey than I ever have been before, and it left me unexpectedly exposed.

I know I'm resilient when I have my usual resources and my community close by. But when I'm alone, what then?

Being removed from the environment I was comfortable exploring my dreams in has been more difficult than I thought it was going to be. I am a very organized and motivated person, and the last thing I expected to happen to me while on this trip was for my weaknesses to be revealed so suddenly--one small trigger was enough to derail me mentally and emotionally for an entire week.

That wouldn't have happened if I was at home. But I'm not home, and I spent an entire week running around Milan feeling recklessly ungrounded and deeply vulnerable. It took me finally reaching out to my support system back home to pop the bubble I was drifting away in and begin the process of regulating myself again.

Why was this the case? I still have the same support and the same community. Why did the physical distance change things so much for me? Physical distance feels like a barrier to access. I'm in a different time zone. I don't have my usual physical items or my usual environment. I built so much of my support on external signals, and when I couldn't access them in the same way, I fell apart. 

It was a hard week, but I learned so many important lessons about myself and about the role I need my community to play for me. I'm learning to interact with my community from a distance while still receiving the support I need. 

This experience has proven to me how strong my community really is, even when I wasn't strong myself. I know now that it's not just support that is effective with physical proximity. It's support that is effective when I'm willing to open up and ask for help. 

It doesn't matter how big of a community you build for yourself if you're not able to utilize it as a resource. And if you can't, then it may not be as genuine as you thought. 

I'm grateful my community is genuine. It's a resource that I've really needed this past week. I needed to learn to tap into my support system without physical or external access. This is a lesson I know will help me achieve even more success in the years to come. 

I'm thankfully grounded again. I don't feel hopeless anymore, and I'm out of my downward spiral. I'm ready to take on the upcoming castings for Milan Fashion Week.

I know that my community is key to my success. I need the support, the collaboration, and the relationships. 

One day I'll be a self-made supermodel, but it won't be because I did anything alone.